Don’t Let Other People Control Your Mood

Don't Let Other People Control Your Mood

Humans need emotions!

Social interactions are super important for us humans. It’s a big part of our lives. It’s even everything in our lives. Just imagine a world living alone. There would be no purpose. There would be things around you, but no emotions. I see the world as a blank and white canvas on which colourful emotions are painted. Us living creatures, we’re all a whole full of energy and emotions. What we feel towards each other and our social interactions – that’s what makes us feel alive.

The good and the bad – it’s all good!

A little anger, sadness and desperation from time to time doesn’t (or shouldn’t) hurt anyone. The world is made of an equilibrium. There’s the good and the bad. Feeling down sometimes is even a good thing: I couldn’t imagine it would be possible to be happy if you can never be sad. Whether it’s love, hate, happiness, anger or whatever, emotions are the best thing that happened to us.  The problem is when the balance is broken. And there are many things that can unbalance our emotional balance, the most important being other people’s emotions!

Humans are sponges

Us humans, we’re real sponges. We absorb the emotions of others. Don’t you want to laugh and be happy when you’re around happy people? Aren’t you a little more depressed when people around you are unhappy? That’s why it’s so important to be surrounded by good-energy people if you want to keep the good vibes in your life!

There’s one tiny little problem with that “emotion absorption”: we absorb positivity and negativity the same way, but we tend to keep in and think about the negative emotions much more than the positive ones. Let me explain:

  • When we feel positive emotions towards ourselves, it makes us feel good. We don’t think about it too much – we don’t analyse for an eternity why a particular person smiled at us or why other people made us feel appreciated. We just feel good.
  • However, when we feel a negative attitude towards ourselves, it tends to stick with us throughout our day. We think about it. We ask ourselves what we have to done to deserve it. We ruminate and don’t let that little bite of negativity go away. We tend to transform it into something much worse. That’s when the emotional balance starts to get off.

For example, let’s say that you woke up pretty happy today. It’s snowing outside, and you love snow. You take a walk instead of subway to go to work, feeling all happy and bubbly. Getting to your desk, you see your co-worker walking towards you, and start smiling broadly. You get at the same level, then pass each other. That co-worker didn’t even look at you and your smile fades. The same thing happens with another co-worker.

You get to your desk. What’s wrong? Now all your happiness and cheerful thoughts about the snow and your relaxing walk are replaced with doubt. Why didn’t they say hi to you? They sure knew it was you, even if they didn’t look at you. You know these co-workers knew it was you but still ignored you on purpose when you crossed each other. (By the way, hate when that happens!) Wait, did you do something wrong? Don’t they like you anymore? Maybe they don’t feel you’re good enough to say hi to you? And it goes on and on.

Later in the day, at lunch, you talk to them and they smile and laugh with you. They make you feel good. You return to your desk and realize that the morning ignorance “incident” was nothing. Maybe they simply didn’t feel like saying hi. Maybe they were hurrying up to get work done and they were thinking about important things and they didn’t see you. You know when you’re so absorbed in your own thoughts you don’t see the people around you?

Anyways you ruined your morning happiness with useless thoughts. Why? Why should you do that? Life’s too short for that!

People don’t want to hurt us

This was just a little example. Most of the time, people do not want to hurt others. If they do, most of the time it’s unintentional. So don’t let your mood be affected by how people act towards you.

Sure, sometimes people do it on purpose. They ignore us on purpose. They try to hurt us on purpose. But in that case, either there’s a problem between the two of you and you need to solve it by talking to them or they’re simply grumpy people. If you’re dealing with a grumpy person, well that’s how they are. Don’t take it personally. Why would you let yourself be affected by it? They might be in an unhappy place in their lives and let their emotions out on other people. That’s their problem, not yours. Don’t let it affect you! If anything, you should try to help them. But don’t take it on you.

You have the power to control how you feel

Either way, only you can decide how you see the world. Which emotions you absorb in and which ones you don’t. You can choose which path you take to go to work: either a street near the highway that’s full of cars or a peaceful street with children playing outside.

You can choose to let yourself be influenced by the positive people around you who bring you up, compliment you and make you happy and create a shield towards those who are negative. Or you can choose the opposite.

When you’re feeling down, when there’s nobody to bring you up, you can choose to let little things make you happy. Hey, you live in a beautiful apartment, you just made yourself some delicious coffee, the sun is shining outside and the birds are chirping. Let is all sink in.

  • Here’s a tip: whenever you’re feeling down and feel like there are no positive emotions around you, go out and take a walk and let yourself be inspired by all the amazingness around you. All living things can create emotions. The trees, the flowers, the grass, the animals. Feel that web of energy around you and let it overwhelm you. Let that energy flow into you and don’t get stuck on what one person told you today or how one person brought you down today. That person is like nothing. It’s a piece of dust in the infinity of the universe.

Anyways I was getting pretty philosophical, but in short, you will always be an emotion sponge but you can choose what you absorb. Get out in this crazy world, have fun and even squeeze a little bit of your positive energy on others. Compliment people and it will all come back at you 🙂

Now just to end this, put a big smile on your face. For real, do it! DO IT!
Don't Let Other People Control Your Mood

Take action

Write down on a piece of paper all the things that you find amazing around you and all the positive things people told you today.

When you’re done, write down what makes you unhappy today. 1 against 100 right? Not worth it!

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